Sermon - The Rev. Dr. Paul Kolbet, November 12th 2023
We hear another one of Jesus’ parables today. We are told that the kingdom of God is like ten bridesmaids, half of them are wise and half of them are foolish. So the challenge to readers is to determine what it is that makes the wise bridesmaids wise so that we can be like them. The parable is set at the groom’s house. The maidens wait for the groom’s return from the bride’s house where he has gone to gather his bride and bring her to his home. They went out a short way to escort the new couple in a festive torchlit procession back to their new home. The delay was likely about negotiating the details of the marriage contract and it could take a while. They have torches (or lamps) because they expected that it would stretch past sundown (but not until midnight). So they all get drowsy and fall asleep waiting. So far, the wise and the foolish are the same.
They are only different in one all important detail. The wise five had put in some extra effort into being prepared for the occasion and had brought with them oil to soak the top of the torch in so that it will burn well and long. The foolish did not and only thought about it when at midnight, there was a shout that the groom was about to arrive. They soon realized that their torches were not going to burn long enough to escort the bride and groom home, they then turn to the five wise women and demand, “Give us some your oil, our torches are going out!” The wise say, “No,” refuse to share, and then hurry off to meet the wedding couple.
Jesus taught in parables not because he enjoyed being vague and unclear, but because he wanted us to discover the truth for ourselves through the kind of insight that only comes when you have put your mind to something to figure it out. Now I don’t know about you, but to me it is puzzling why Jesus would applaud the women who refused to share. After all, giving was one of the things Jesus spoke most about. He is the one who taught, “If anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well … Give to everyone who asks from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:40-42). When the rich young ruler came to Jesus, he didn’t say, go and get a good return on your money. He said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor” (Matthew 19.21). In this case, however, the bridegroom was about to appear. It was too late. Somehow, there was nothing to be done.
The drowsy unwise bridesmaids, having left such preparation to the very last minute, scramble, run out to buy oil, but by the time they do, they missed the procession; the door to the home was shut.
They failed to fulfill their assigned part and they weren’t welcomed at the banquet so much so that the groom tells them, “I don’t even know you.” Seems kind of harsh, but there may be a reason for that.
Jesus concludes his story saying, “keep awake, be prepared, be like the wise women.” It makes me wonder how they could have gotten this so wrong and what Jesus is warning us against, what kind of “left out” is he trying to save us from by telling us this parable? We don’t really know why the foolish bridesmaids were caught so unprepared for a situation that was not at all uncommon and could have been anticipated as is shown by the prepared five. It is tempting to think that they were just lazy, or had a bad case of procrastination, we all, from time to time, don’t start on things we need to do soon enough or have trouble finishing. But they might not have been lazy at all. Maybe they were just frugal, holding back, not wanting to incur an expense they did not need to. The groom might have arrived earlier, the procession could have been quite short, and there would have been no need for extra oil for the torches. Or maybe they so did not want to get it wrong that they made themselves so anxious that they couldn’t get anything done. That happens. Whatever the reason was, the point of the story is that they held back and missed out on joy. After all, they weren’t just invited to the celebration, they were given a privileged position in the joy. The parable really is about, how not to miss out on joy. And that is something worth knowing.
Probably nothing is more natural to us than joy, but it slips through our fingers all the time. I have sympathy for the well-intentioned bridesmaids because what they did and failed to do happens all the time to most of us despite our very best intentions. I grew up in a home that had a lovely full set of china hidden safely away in a cabinet. I was frequently told not to touch it because I might break it (and the truth of the matter is that I did break any number of things as a boy). I barely remember ever eating on it and have very few joy filled memories of it. Just “don’t touch, don’t break!” But, I too, hide away precious things for fear of losing them. Every now and again I come across one of them and realize that it has become outdated by time and not by use. It would have been better if I just wore them out in love than hiding them away and never enjoying them. It’s hard for me to realize that fearfully clinging onto something so tightly is not the best way to keep it. The fear of losing something or someone can inhibit our very living and become itself the road to loss and missing out.
For example, have you noticed how much of the news that is reported is about “what is likely to happen”? We have become so used to that that we may not realize how strange that is. With more happening in our world than any of us can possibly follow, and how important it is to have talented people help us understand what is happening around us and to us, we are continually given reports instead of experts making their best guesses of what might happen, or, more commonly, polls of what people say who know no more about the future than we do. Just because 54% of people who don’t know the future say this is “likely to happen” does not mean we know anything. Why is this insubstantial reporting compelling, why is it even news? Someone knows that we are more fearful of all that may happen in the future than we are curious about what is truly happening in the present. They certainly know how to make us furious rather than curious.
In much the same way, we are engaged in the discernment process for the next rector of St. Paul’s. It can seem only natural to want to race ahead and have one’s only questions be about the timeline asking, “What is likely to happen?” Not a lot of people have walked with congregations through this process more than I have. That does not mean that I know the future any more than you do. What it does mean is that I know this particular kind of present. I know that it matters. I agree with Jesus about how easy it is to miss out on the special opportunities that are in this, our time, together. We are at a key point in the discernment process where guided by the survey results we start widespread personal interviews with the whole congregation. It is time to be curious about your church and who worships here and why. This is the part that involves everyone. But it is not just about gathering information. It is all of your chance to make mental, spiritual, and personal connections not easily made in other times. And these connections within and between all of you matter more than most churches ever imagine.
We can–like those drowsy yet foolish bridesmaids–think of the demands of our present moment as a problem that we back into because we are worried and just don’t want to mess it up. Or we can look at it like those wise eager bridesmaids as an opportunity for abundant life; a time to jump in fully and prepare, having faith that joy is to come because of it. That faith, and the expectation that comes from faith, was much of the difference between those running to greet the bridegroom and those caught unprepared and missing out because they held back.
It wasn’t the case that the well-prepared bridesmaids could not share. It was that the very enthusiasm that goes into joyfully preparing for the feast was what the groom wanted from each of them. The reward of joyful celebration grew out of the anticipation and preparation. The anticipation and preparation were essential to the whole experience.
It was for this reason that this was one those things in life that each bridesmaid had to do for herself. This is why the only help the wise could give was to encourage the foolish to do whatever they needed to light each of their own lamps.
Jesus says, “keep awake, be prepared.” I invite you as we approach Advent once again, as we make our annual new beginning, in your own life, in our rector search, in our season of pledging, to push off fear, and anxiety, the persistent worry about what will happen in our parish, city, and country, and instead not miss out on the joy of right now, to let the anticipation in you grow, to be live with hopeful expectation, and remind yourself that the present always has gifts of its own. If you find yourself feeling furious for whatever reason about anything, see if you could be curious instead. The only reason you are admonished so strongly to prepare your torches properly is that you have been invited to the wedding banquet. That is the good news of Jesus’ parable and it is good news indeed.
In this time where so much clamors for our attention, may the Almighty God who not only invites us to live with joy, but is the giver of all good gifts, grant us the faith to join in freely with open hands and hearts, turn our uncertainty to curiosity, and bless us so thoroughly that we can, again and again, be a blessing to others. Amen